Yesterday my friend and I set out on our road trip to Arkansas to visit my mom and my friend Maria. We spent all morning packing, doing this and that, preparing to be in Arkansas for three days with a three month old baby. We finally hit the road about 6pm. Things are going good, baby is sleeping the whole time. We are jamming to music, enjoying ourselves.

It starts to snow. I can't see the road much in front of me. Sami decides to choose this time to take a nap. I'm tired as hell, Sami is sleeping, and the huge semi in front of me is blowing snow at my car so bad I can't see the road at all. Most of the time I am not sure if I'm even on the road, shoulder, don't care so long as we're not in a ditch. I'm seeing signs saying things like Miami and Vi-something or other pay at exit.. WTF? Pay what? I don't know these signs. Signs saying Tulsa. Really? Really!

"Sam! I think we're lost!"

"Hmm.." She snores.

"Sam, it is snowing, I can't see the road, and I think we missed 65 South!"

Snort snore.

"SAMANTHA JAMES! We're lost! Call Bob and have him find a map!"

She jerks into a sitting position, grabs her phone and calls Bob. Second later she puts her phone down on her lap.

"Got his voicemail." She leans her head back against the headrest and begins to snore. Really!!??!?! This is where I'm swerving in and out of lanes cause I can't see any lines on the road through the snow.

"Sam! GRRR!" I pull my phone out of my pocket and try to use the touchscreen to call my mom. Her and my stepdad always have at least one atlas on the table and five more stacked nearby. It starts ringing while I try desperately not to panic as I see more huge Semis and cars up ahead of me.

"Mom, I think we are lost! Find a map and tell me where we are. Did we miss our turn?" I tell her the last sign I saw, which was maybe ten minutes before. Now we were on a long stretch of road, no signs anywhere, and only one exit every fifty miles, no joke. Where are we!!!

"Here, talk to Monty," she tells me, handing over the phone to her husband.
I don't even know what he is saying cause I'm trying to stay on the road. A huge truck in front of me and I'm almost in the ditch. I hang up the phone, throw it at my snoring friend. She jerks awake, glancing around wondering what the heck.
"Sam, we're lost. Call my mom, I just hung up on them!"
So, awake now, she calls them back. According to Monty, we should see 65 any minute now. . . we are in the middle of nowhere. No signs, no exits nothing but darkness, snow, and a semi truck every once in a while to throw snow at my windshield and make driving even more impossible.
My nerves are shot, but I'm breathing easier now cause Monty says were still on track. Sam and I decided to stop for gas and check out a map just to be sure.
We miss the first exit cause we can't see it.
Seriously twenty miles later we find one. Vinita. Where?? What is Vinita? Why does it say pay at exit or whatever?? I'm not paying anything! I just want to know where I am and how much further I have to go.
There are about four inches of snow on the ground as we pull into the first gas station we see: The Wood Shed. Hmmm....we go in and the walls are all made of wood, there is a train set around the wall and suspended in the air above our heads in half the store. There are magnets, shot glasses, mugs, everything. I grab an atlas, a cup of coffee and sit at a booth by the window. Sam asks the woman at the register where we are.
"Oklahoma."
I look up. What?
"No we're not," Sam says. "Your joking. Where are we?"
The woman and the two male customers she's chatting with look at us. "You're in Oklahoma."
"No way." Sam checks the newspaper. "Oh shit! We are in Oklahoma." We'd missed our exit three hours back, and the snow is still falling thick and white.
We find where we are on the map, we see where we should be. We consider turning back. The snow is about six inches by now. We call mom, she says we shouldn't drive. It's snowing where she's at in Arkansas too! Sam and I think it's best to stop for the night, get a motel room. Mind you, we don't have money for a room. The woman working there gets out a phone book, finds two motel numbers. Sam calls. One doesn't answer, the other, Relax Inn, is 59 dollars a night. Fine!
The cashier gives us directions to the motel, wishes us luck and we slide through red lights, ignoring the law that we are supposed to stop. By this time I don't give a damn. I was irrate with Sam for falling asleep. I kept telling her if she'd been awake we wouldn't have missed 65. She was trying not to laugh at me cause I don't get angry often, but I was pissed. She says I'm funny and cute when I'm mad. She didn't want me to know she thought this at the time, cause it would have made me madder.




The room is small, two beds, microwave, tv. HBO was it's saving grace...but we fell asleep before we could enjoy it. We hauled our things inside, showered, put the baby down, I had a snowball fight with my dog, then we went to sleep.
Next morning mom keeps calling, telling us to go home there is too much snow and we will never make it down her hill. I'm still half asleep, not wanting to face the fact that it would be best to head back to st. louis instead of continuing on to Siloam Springs then on to Harrison to Pyatt to see her. She gives up trying to convice me, her most stubborn daughter, and calls Sam. Still mostly sleeping, I hear Sam tell her:
"I'll talk to her when she gets up. We'll talk and let you know."
I roll over and sleep. Finally, I get up and get dressed. I tell Sam the snow is melting! That didn't really matter, there was still lots of it, and snow was starting to fall again. A few drops coming off the roof didn't really mean anything at this point. So we decide to take 44 East back to St. Louis. I call mom to tell her.
"I can't drink my coffee, my stomach is all torn up, I'm so worried and stressed. Go home! I want to see you, I'll send you money to come see us in the spring, just go home. It's bad out there and getting worse, just go home! I can't drink my coffee, I'm so worried sick!"
I calm her down, tell her we are going home, not to worry. I tell her I'll call every time we stop and let her know how the roads are doing. She breathes a little easier.
"I love your mom," Sam laughs. She loved my mom last winter too when mom kept calling my work and telling me to go home. She gave up on me and my stubborness and talked to my manager and told him to send me home cause the snow was supposed to get worse. She kept having Sam call and tell me to go home, thinking maybe I'll listen to Sam since I wasn't listening to her.
Did you know you have to pay to leave Oklahoma? $1.75. We pulled out our change and got back on the road. Every half hour we stopped somewhere. We found a sign that said Reptile zoo, seven miles off of exit. Hey, lets check that out. Snowing or not, we're not wasting this road trip. 10 miles later we give up on the reptile zoo, turn around and retrace our steps and get back on the highway.
We were starving and looking for a place to eat. Mcdonalds, Waffle House, etc...We didn't want something we see everday. No fast food. We'd had Waffle House on the way to Oklahoma. After passing dozens of exits we decide whatever, we'll go to Waffle House again. On our way to the way there, we see a small diner called Ali's Family Resteraunt. Oh yeah, we turn around and go in. Wonderful food, nice small town feel, huge windows showing off all the snow falling to cover the five inches of snow already on the ground. Friendly service. An old house across the street we decided must be haunted. We plan to buy that house someday and eat at Ali's everyday. Sam was bouncing off the walls when she found out they had cucumber sauce, or gyro sauce. I hate cucumbers, but I tried it. We got some more and put it on our hashbrowns and our omlettes, on the toast. We asked if we could buy some. She sold us an eight ounce cup of it for $1.50. We were thrilled.
We got back on the road, planning our next road trip. We are going to get in the car and drive. No destination in mind. Just drive and stop at every attraction we see on the way.
The whole drive back was snow. Ice, slush, snow. Lots of it. The entire drive. It started to get dark. Sam goes to sleep. I'm starting to fall asleep at the wheel. I turn up the music, and sing along, but my eyes start drooping and my mind is empty, spacey, I'm so tired. Then I see a sign for Starbucks coffee exit 156. Hold it! I'm suddenly wide awake, searching every exit. No other signs for it, but I'm not missing this Starbucks.
We find it. We get gas for the car, let Kenni out to potty, and I run in for coffee. I come back out and some young douche is laughing and pushing a cart at my car. WTF??
He moves it away laughing and gets in the passenger seat of a car where a young girl is at the wheel. I climb in the car, Sam is getting off the phone with my mom.
"What the hell was he doing?" I ask her.
"I don't know, but I got off the phone quick, thinking I need to jump out and fuck him up."
"Eh," I say. We say this all the time lately. Just, "Eh."
The young prick gets out of his car which is parked in front of us to the right slightly. He goes to Sam's window, she cracks it an inch. Kenni is barking like mad at him. He asks if he can buy a cigarette. She's all sure.
"Better shut up dog or I'll rip you apart." He yells at Kenni. Excuse me? Who's the dumb mother fucker coming up to our car window? This is my dogs territory.
"You do that and I'll rip you apart." I tell him, and start to drive as Sam is hading a cig through the window. I'm hoping to hit one of the little brat's feet with a tire. Unfortunately I missed. He's hollering at Sam saying he'd pay $50 for a pack. I don't even stop, I keep driving. Fuck the little bastard. Who does that? Walk up to a strangers car and ask for a cigarette, then threatens their dog?!?! No, no. You don't mess with my dog. Kenni, as much as she pisses me off sometimes, is like my kid. You don't mess with someones kids, you don't mess with thier dog.
Anyway, I couldn't believe it. We seriously were driving along and suddenly we go from snowfalling onto the already 6 inches to no snow on the ground at all. What??!! I was actually sad. We weren't getting snow at hime, and I have been waiting all winter for some snow, but south of us was getting a hell of a lot of snow. So not fair.
Anyway. That was our road trip.
Oh, we also stopped at a place called Ozarkland: Stores thoroughout the ozarks. "Worth Stopping For" the signs said. We shrugged. Why not.
They had tons of awesome stuff. Sam bought owl statue for our friend Leah. It's cool. I just bought Saltwater taffy and cinnamon covered pecans and two rebel driver's licenses. They were hilarious, we both had to have one.
Anyway, we're planning another road trip. one where we are going to visit every haunted place we can throughout America. I'm going to have to take her to the Lemp mansion. I've been there before and my friend is taking me in Feb. again. But it would be awesome if me and Sami stayed there. In Zeke's room. Oh yea.